Love, grief and eternal separation

Hello lovers of lore!

(What's that? A new opening? Who are you and where is Debbie?? 😅)

Ahem.

How have you been? What have you been up to this May?

I know it's been a while. As usual with my excuses, I really can't answer for the first four-ish weeks, but a lot happened last week and they make such good excuses that I don't want to use them as excuses...

May... has been difficult for me. Yes, last May was difficult too. I really don't like Mays anymore 😅.

(If you're in a delicate place emotionally, maybe don't read this email just now. There are some heavy themes and circumstances discussed here. <3)

Do you remember my dog Max? He grew sick a couple of weeks ago, and we had to put him down last Wednesday. Sick dogs can get very aggressive, and he wouldn't let us near him, so we never found out what was actually wrong. He became dangerous to us and himself, and eventually my parents decided we couldn't keep him like this. Pathetic as it may sound, I really miss him, and grieve that I'll never get him back. Every so often I turn around, expecting him to be there, and... he's not. Or I pull a dog hair off my jumper and think that one day, I'll pull off Max's last hair. He bit my hand a few weeks ago, and I'm watching the marks heal and fade with mixed feelings. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could have him back, as he was normally. But that era of my life has ended.

My grief for Max was relatively short-lived. (Who knew that grief prioritises?) Two days later, my friend's brother was killed. My mum found an article in the news and recognised his name. I trawled through the article, looking for some detail or that wouldn't fit, that would mean it was someone else... but everything only confirmed it.

Yeah, it was a lot. I gave up looking for the "reason why" bad things happen a long time ago. Yes, I believe that everything happens for the good of God's people (Romans 8:28) and according to his will, but that doesn't mean I'll always understand or see the reason why. And trying to weigh up "was it worth it?" is painful. I never know the answer.

My manager told me a story from her culture that I'd like to share. And, as something a little different, instead of researching, I thought I'd retell it the way she told me. (I Googled it to find the names.)

My manager is Maori, from Rotarua in New Zealand's North Island. If you've never been to Rotorua (neither have I), it's famous for its hot sulfur springs. Apparently it stinks. She said her community dug holes in the ground and cooked their food in there, because the ground was so hot. So there you go 😄.

Anyway, she told me the Maori story of how the Earth and Sky were separated.

Long ago, the Earth (Papatūānuku) and the Sky (Ranginui) were in love. Once they'd come together, they were locked forever in a constant embrace. After a time, they had children, who inhabited the space between Earth and Sky. But there wasn't much room, and they quickly became cramped, bored and mischievous. One finally managed to break apart Papatūānuku and Ranginui, creating an expanse between them. Even today, when it rains, it's really Ranginui weeping for Papatūānuku, and when it's foggy, Papatūānuku is mourning Ranginui.

I really like the image of the sky and the earth crying for each other--the rain falling, and the fog rising. If I was an artist, I would draw some epic picture about it. But I'm not, so instead you get this nice picture of Rotorua from Audley tourism. :)

The separation between Papatūānuku and Ranginui was painful for them, but it led to some good--it gives us a place to live, and their tears water our crops and give us food. Death and separation are terrible things, and we can't downplay that. But God is really awesome in that he takes what was meant for evil, and uses it for good (a line that comes from Joseph, and I recommend reading his story in Genesis 37-50 to see this principle in action.).

I went to see my grieving friend the other day. A lot that she said about her brother--how she looks for him, and misses him, and remembers doing things with him--reminded me of how I felt about Max. She said that she was taking comfort in the truth that God is in control, and He makes things happen for a reason. Which got me thinking about everything that happened last week. Maybe God gave me a taste of death; so that I could sympathise with her, but also made sure that I was able to push aside my own grief to help her? Maybe losing Max equipped me to help my friend in her grief?

And while I don't like trying to find a "reason why", it does make losing Max feel a little more... worthwhile. (Even if I also wish neither thing had happened.)

What encourages you when you're lonely, or grieving? Have you ever seen some good come out of something terrible?

Have a wonderful June, my friends. Even (and especially) if your May was difficult. <3

Till next time,

PS there's no blog post this week. I'm not sure when the next blog post will be but it will probably say something like "I'm drafting. Please stand by." 😅

What would you like to read about on the blog? :)